


I want you to be happy

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Gen, Implied abuse, reference to Zoe trying to date somebody much older than her, somewhat flippant references to eating disorders, underage alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 02:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18327254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: Zoe stands in the doorway.  She watches.  She takes a step forward, squares her shoulders, then stalls.  She's got a bone to pick with Connor.  The question is whether or not it's worth picking.  If things go wrong, and she's got to scream and wake everyone up in the middle of the night, will she be seen as the instigator here?





	I want you to be happy

Dad often tells Zoe not to provoke her brother. Mom tells her not to make things worse. 

It's two o’clock in the morning, and Connor’s got a leftover casserole out on the table, which he's eating cold right out of the baking pan. He reeks of pot and booze, but he's shoveling food into his mouth, which is such a rare occurrence lately that Zoe suspects their parents might deliberately stay in bed and feign ignorance of the situation. It's kinda unfair, considering the one time Zoe snuck wine coolers at a sleepover, her mom had somehow smelled it on her breath the next day, and grounded her for a month. Besides, it's not like Connor consuming food is this great sacred event. He's not anorexic or whatever. He just goes through phases where he doesn't eat. 

Zoe stands in the doorway. She watches. She takes a step forward, squares her shoulders, then stalls. She's got a bone to pick with Connor. The question is whether or not it's worth picking. If things go wrong, and she's got to scream and wake everyone up in the middle of the night, will she be seen as the instigator here? 

Connor’s the one to break the silence. 

“I just want you to be happy,” he says in a slurred monotone. He does not look at Zoe, but stabs at the casserole with his fork, not eating any more. 

“Cool.” Zoe crosses her arms, and tries to look aloof and strong. “Tracking down Zack at Lauren’s party, pinning him against the wall, and telling him you’ll kill him if he ever looks at me again is a a sucky way to go about making me happy. So maybe don't do that next time.” 

“He's three years older than you.” 

“I'm old enough to choose who I date.” 

“I'm just trying to protect you.” 

Zoe rolls her eyes. “Maybe I'm trying to find somebody who’ll protect me from _you_.” 

“Fuck off. There are like ten of you and one of me. What’m I gonna do anyways?” 

It takes it a moment for it to register with Zoe what Connor’s going on about. She's already all but turned away when it does. Connor must be really messed up with whatever substances he's on. Vulnerable. That's the worst thing about him. No matter what he does to Zoe, he's such a mess that it's hard to find a way to fight back that feels fair and right. Zoe prides herself in being a good person, the one who others can turn to when they need somebody, but Connor brings out the worst in her. That's the power of how mean and destructive he is, and it messes with Zoe. It messes with her big time. 

Well, not tonight. 

Deliberately, Zoe walks over to the sink. She fills up a glass with water. She sets it in front of Connor. 

“You might wanna drink this,” she says. “For the headache you’ll have in the morning.” 

No answer. 

“Good night Connor.” 

Still no answer. Zoe goes upstairs to her bedroom, where she turns off the lights, lies down, and does not sleep.


End file.
